Quilts Are Amazing

3 Sep

I haven’t spoken to my father in 10 years. We’ve had a pretty rocky relationship, to say the least. I have gone through many bipolar moments of the “I love him, I hate him” variety.
He has recently found me on facebook. (Oh the wonders of the Internet. You can’t hide from anyone!) At first, I was very wary of accepting a friend request from this man who had hurt me so badly. But it was many years ago and I decided to give him a chance.
He has done things with his life and made some changes. Not big changes, but I’m sure he realizes I won’t be putting up with any shit, so I’m not likely to get the “old” him again I don’t think.
I have been talking with him back and forth for several months now via email or facebook. We did speak on the phone once. He had a stroke recently, and as much as I wanted to say that I didn’t care, in reality, I did.
My father is a man who doesn’t have many people in his life. He has pushed everyone away by being a jerk. I’m assuming that his assholish-ness is a result of something done wrong to him in the past. If you read my last post, you’ll know how I feel about things happening to us making us into who and how we are, but I digress. Having an awful childhood does not give you a free pass to treat other people that way. I do not condone his behavior, but at the same time, I understand it.
I saw a quilt kit that was in red, black, and white. Red and black had always been his favorite colors so something in me (I have no idea what) told me I had to make this for him. I was unsure if he would like it. I hadn’t had much success with him in the gift-giving department even as a child. He was always very critical of the things he received.
The day he got the package, he sent me an email and told me that he took it out of the box, and broke down and cried. He went on and on about how beautiful it was and how much he has missed me. He has never opened up like that, and I had certainly never seen him cry.
I think what made me feel the need to make this quilt was that if he were to pass away before I have the guts to meet him in person again, I don’t want him to die thinking that he’s alone. I want him to know that even if no one else in the world cares about him, I do. Regardless of what has been done in the past, people can change. I’m glad I gave him another chance. And I’m glad I got the opportunity to show him that, despite our tumultuous past, I still love him.


One Response to “Quilts Are Amazing”

  1. EJ the Red September 8, 2010 at 5:40 am #

    This story is so touching to me, and I am so proud of you for sharing it. You inspire me and your strength is admirable! A quilt is so much more than a product for warmth when so much goes into it. You obviously put thought, love, feeling, (dare I say tears?) and time. Time, as they say, heals, and I find that quilting can be therapeutic. Congratulations on a very beautiful quilt and an incredible story.

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